I left the house early again today to work for university, but I rewarded myself with taking a break from studying from the afternoon onwards - maybe it wasn't the wisest thing to do but at least I recharged some batteries, so I think that's important as well. I wasn't very productive after the lecture though, spending some time at Starbucks again and discussing things of no great importance ;3

After coming home though I sat in front of the PC and typed a bit of fanfiction and the next Ivory Tales chapter is nearly done. I'll probably speed up once Christmas is just around the corner (after my BA exams that is) because I want to give my version of Kanda's past before everything is revealed in DGM and I might be tempted to go back on my plans. I know I won't but still...! I actually plan on finishing the fanfiction in 2010 as well, it's been going on for almost two years now and I want to continue writing Noah of Destiny as well. And not to forget my original stories. There are actually quite a lot of things I want to write... some one-shots, two "new" fandoms. Since I started writing in English I haven't actually tried to write anything for a different fandom than DGM. Which is not bad because DGM is the best thing out there, but I'd still like trying out different settings as well. And I also have three German DGM FFs which I started but didn't finish / continue...

Anyway, because I filled two pages with notes about the DGM chapter yesterday (and another version just now), I might as well put my thoughts down here.

( Thoughts under a spoiler LJ cut of course! )( Read more... )Now I've written too much >w<

It's time to go to sleep now, have to get up early tomorrow after all! ^3^

I am very, very busy at the moment, as busy as I haven't been for a long time (oh well, I'm always busy when it gets to the deadlines of papers, but it's not a paper this time).

I am a lazy student, so it's a bit strange for me to get up a six am again, head out at seven (when it's dark and snowing or raining and brrrrrr!) get to university at eight and study, study, study. Maybe other students of other faculties are used to that, but I haven't studied (or read) as much for quite some time! But I'm mostly done preparing for my English BA exam (that is on the 12th of December), I just sent in my theses and articles etc etc. What is left is to read and re-read some more to get the ideas fixed in my head (and prevent me from forgetting names! Too many characters, too little brain capacity...)

I'll get up early tomorrow as well, I'm on a roll, I might as well continue to be hard working until the exams are over. I want a pass for my normal exams and a good pass for my BA exams as well. I should not slack off now!! That's why I'm still not writing fanfiction and I have barely time to check e-mails, livejournal and dA.

But I took the time now because I'm ardently waiting for the DGM spoiler and need a break to eat my manderinli. And I'm not working after 9 pm as a rule - which I just broke because apparently it's already past ten! *lol*

Anyway, studied today, was in a lecture course, studied some more, didn't eat properly (but am consuming manderinli now) and properly attended my Japanese course! Go me! I like being productive, it feels a lot better than being lazy! (But being lazy and doing stuff for my own entertainment is nice...)

28th of November 2009 and I am 23! :D

More to come on this, just wanted to get it out!

But, I already got my first present, from my sister! She drew me a picture of Leeio and Ray (two of my charas) in Ranka and Klan's outfits, doing that cute "kira" pose! <3 <3

Edit:

We'll soon leave for the restaurant, so I wanted to give a short summary of what I did and got! Almost all day was spent making sweets and doing random lazy things with Esmerod (who came to visit me).

From my parents and sister I got drawing tools; like a sketch book, stabilo pens (oh, how I love them) and Caran d'Ache felt pens (oh, how nostalgic!). And two belly-button piercing thingies X3.
And a cape! A long black one, sewed by my sister! ^3^
And I got a skirt from Esmerod that I wore yesterday! :D

Edit 2:

There was no trouble at all, I felt a bit uneasy at times with my aunt's boyfriend, but nothing all too bad.

I got some nice presents, but am too lazy to list all of them *lol* Mostly things I can use; like shower gels and stuff, but also sweets! And Debbzel gave me among other things a picture of Ranka! <3

And I still ate too much (but couldn't even finish the dish I ordered, even though the others ate from it as well) and am still eating left-overs! >w< But I think my guests likes the sweets I made :D

---

Other than that we were out to celebrate Esmerod's birthday (which was on the 26th) yesterday - it was quite entertaining, but I ate too much! *bursts*

I felt a little bit melancholic when they started talking about boyfriends, fiancés, marriage, parenthood. It gets topical for women of my age, the more years I pile on me, the more it seems to be present. I have neither of the things mentioned, but I want all! *is greedy* Good thing it's my birthday, I can make over-the-top birthday wishes without a need to be reasonable! :D

A little P.S. last year I managed to write a extra chapter for Ivory Tale for the occasion, this time I've spent most of my time reading articles. Buh... But I wouldn't even have known what to write in that extra chapter, because I already praised how great november is. Maybe I should have written an ode to the chilly wind, because I was shivering outside today! *lol*

Now I'm off to check some stuff before I head to bed.

I am a bit unsure of what to think right now... For quite some time I have the feeling that I'm just a side-character in a soap opera - it doesn't really concern me directly, but I still suffer from it to some extend that rather puts me into a depressed but also angry mood...

( Distressed musings on what should not make me sad )

As Halloween was almost a month ago I felt the need to change the look of my journal once again. This time Ranka made it! <3

The pic I used for the header is a part of my still WIP picture. In my last post I complained about not being able to draw; well, yesterday I got my inspiration back! I can't write at the moment, but at least I can draw! I don't know if that's a good thing - I should be doing other things, therefore it's bad. But it's also good because I still need to draw something! *lol*

But for the moment my inspiration has restricted itself to Macross and the occasional unfinished DGM picture. Switching from drawing Macross to drawing Kanda is not that difficult (even though I haven't actually drawn Alto *lol*)

Aaaanyway. I should be doing other things, but I was trying to read an articles but I wasn't able to properly process the points of the article. Buhu...

Okay, that's it for the moment!

I somewhat lack the ability to draw at the moment. Maybe it's because my head knows very well that I should do other things, but still! I have quite a few sketches that wait to be drawn, I have inspiration (which means that I want to draw and I know what to draw) but once it gets to putting some lines on my paper it's all blown away...! Argh..

Writing is still fine - at least somewhat. I can still write, but I know that it's not as good as I could make it... So maybe I'm just in a low at the moment...

University wise I haven't made much progress; I've selected the books for history, haven't read them though. And I've got the books and articles for English - but I should already be at the stage where I've made up my mind on what I should focus...! Somehow things aren't going smoothly at the moment... I must force myself to do something, because I actually enjoy doing research, especially on topics I like (for example eugenics or social conventions in victorian literature).

Random: I'm waiting for some more infos on the Macross Frontier movie, even though I've already read some stuff. *waiting*

Yesterday was an information meeting for going abroad with my universtiy. As I plan to study for HLA (that is, to become a teacher) I need to spend 5 months abroad in an English speaking region. There are numerous problems connected with it now, more than I thought there were. For once, I cannot go to Great Britian because I happen to study English literature, and not linguistics. If I studied German I could go to London, how twisted is that? A student of English cannot go study at an English university?
Next to that there would be other universities in the U.S, Canada and Australia, however, they say that they regularily only take students that still are in their BA studies. I will (hopefully) be finished with my BA once the next semester starts though. On top of that I probably couldn't go anyway, because of the restrictions (only one student per semester and then it would be for the autumn term anyway). Ah, I don't even want to write all of my complaints and unhappiness about it...

The little bit of good fortune yesterday was that I happened to find 30 franks! Not just lying around, no, I found it in a book that I pulled out at the university library. A book that aparently hadn't been taken out of the shelf for 8 years! >w<

Anyway. I cannot write properly. My mind is a blank at the moment.

Still reading Vanity Fair. No progress in History or English as of yet.

I somehow start to lose confidence. In my unwillingness to waste more semesters of university I rushed to send in the application to take the BA exam this december. However, I now really feel that the time is not enough for all what I still have left to do...

I would have liked to select the books that I have to read for History by last Wednesday, useless to say that I really manage. On top of that I haven't selected the articles for English yet and while I have read most of the books (thanks to having read them in seminars before) I have yet to select poems and read through "Vanity Fair". My bad for not knowing the bulk of Vanity Fair, but 700 pages are quite a lot to read, even though I can read fast if I have to. But I'd rather not rush my reading. I have managed to read 200 pages by now (having received the book on Friday if I remember correctly).

It's that time again when I start to feel aweful whenever I do things not connected to studying - this constant worrying though has earned me more silver hair (thanks to my genetics being set so that I'll probably be able to rival Allen Walker's nice white hair once I'm 30 *uncertain lol*) and constant reproaches that I am not doing anything for my self. Well, true, I do not go out and enjoy myself very often, I would if I didn't feel bad about not using my time studying instead. And it's not even as if I would spend that time at home with reading or studying - it's just the fact that I could be studying while strolling about town (or whatever) - makes me nervous and leaves me with a guilty feeling.

Argh.

Then, I'm unnecessarily creative at the moment, but that's due to stress; either I can write and draw well or can't do anything productive at all. Anyway, I've already written more than necessary for the next Ivory Tales chapter... I am bitter though when it comes to Noah of Destiny though... I don't know what right to complain I have though. So I'll just keep my fingers from typing about it and moan to my sister and esmerod instead. At least they understand me *lol*. But I always think to myself "what right do YOU - who is too shy to write reviews - have to complain?". But I'm still a bit bitter.

If I would go out and advertise more and comment more, then things might be different. The same could be said about me as a person, and not just about me as an author or an artist. But I just don't have that self-confidence.

Bah, in the end being stressed out always causes me to lament. So I should stop now. Make a clear break, say it's past nine, I'm done with university work. I'm bound to do things that I enjoy as well. (But there's this little voice nagging, asking "Are you diligent?" And what should I reply?)

Tuesday is always a tricky day for me. I only have one lecture going from ten to twelve, then I can happily head home. Only to then have to go again because I have my Japanese course from six to half past seven >w< I'm quite fond of the course, but it partially destroys my free afternoon.

But that's not the main point I wanted to rant about. First, a good thing:

My sister has passed the first round of exams for her apprenticeship (it's a school that trains future tailors/ dressmakers - I don't know the real term. It's a bit different from a "normal" apprenticeship though. But I'm not entirely sure what it all comprises). She can now attend training for three days and then they'll decide if they'll take her. She sews and designs pretty well, so she should manage! It's just that out of the 20 that made it past the exam, they'll only take 10 in the end. So, give it your best shot, sister! ^3^

Other than that my day started off differently than usual - as my father's currently ill with the flue my mother took the car. And as I have no other way to get to university at ten than by going with her I had to get up earlier (7 o'clock! *yawn* I'm spoilt...) With the prospect of having free time once at the university I took a course reader, a book and my laptop with me. These proved to be nothing but useless baggage, because I spent all my time in the university library. First I had to give some books back and asked for another book that I had ordered. To my surprise almost all of the books I had ordered were ready to be picked up so I already filled one plastic bag with this load of books. After that I went into the "Freihandmagazin" (one of my favourite places, it's so much fun to go strolling through the library) and checked all the books I had previously written down. In the end this left me with a huge pile of books that I could barely carry anymore (books fell down two or three times). And so my second plastic bag was filled and I also had to stuff some books into my already full schoolbag. >w<

I had a lot to carry and was quite exhausted when in the lecture, but I managed (I had some "Fizzers" left over from Halloween to keep my sugar level high ;3)

Now I'm back at home, ate some Tortellini and now have to prepare for Japanese classes - homework is done, stuff is mostly memorized, but we also need to bring a card (like a business card) - only that the ordinary Swiss student owns nothing like that! So I have to tinker my own! Oooh.

And when I'm done with that I need to pack my stuff and read a bit for university.

P.S. I felt like using my Pocky icon again! So there! ^3^

I just finished reading through the next Ivory Tales chapter, but I haven't published it yet. Maybe I need to give people more time to read the chapter and I usually do take more than one week to update! *lol*

Anyway, I first wanted to include a little blurb in my notes, but I refrained from spamming the readers with my  musings and took it to my journal instead.

Actually, in my own impression I am now at the end of the first half of Ivory Tales. I am a bit unsure if that's the right way to call it, but we'll certainly move to a next state within the next chapter. Next chapter is the transition from one headquarter to the next, which also took place in the manga. The thing with Ivory Tales is though that this is also the place where things go into a different direction. While after the Phantom Thief G arc (which I will include for two reasons: to have Timothy as a member of my fanfic and to have pretext to get the plot moving faster again) DGM continued with heading into the new direction with the Second and Thirds, I will leave that out and move towards building up Kanda and Ellen's relationship in a new setting. Finally, my Victorian drama will take place (maybe minus the drama, because we already had a good dose of that)! And finally I'll be able to show my take on who Ellen and Kanda really are.
While I'm glad that I'll be able to do that I'm also a bit worried; I'll need to write the backstory, the "that-person" question, the marriage, the parenthood, the end fight. Aaah. I'm both looking forward to it and dreading it! *lol*

Okay, that's it for Ivory Tales. I guess now I'll need to order my thoughts on DGM chapter 188 a bit. Behind a LJ cut of course. I don't want to spoil anyone.

( Thoughts on chapter 188 )

With that said I will now go and clear my mind a bit by doing useless stuff.

Edit: The things I did weren't that useless. Because I've also finished the next Noah of Destiny chapter. I'm unsure about uploading because I've had problems before when uploading on the first of a new month. I don't know if that's still a problem of ff.net... >3<